Commitment, honour and self-care

The self-care movement is really big right now. I have some thoughts about it… I think it is fantastic that people, and especially women, are realising that they need to take care of themselves. I also think that it has become an easily available “reason” to cop out. A justification for a failure to honour commitment.

And that actually has the opposite effect that proper self-care has. See, when we engage in self-care, we pamper and nourish ourselves as we need to, perhaps take some rest… it results in a cocktail of feel-good hormones flooding the system. Makes us feel good and calm, relaxed and revitalised. It reduces stress hormones, balancing mind, body and spirit. A cascade of good stuff. The point of self-care. We fill our cup with goodness.

The problem comes in when we withdraw from previous commitment, citing “self-care” as the excuse. Sure, sometimes we have a totally relevant reason to cancel, but I mostly hear people cancel in the name of “self-care”.

When we dishonour ourselves through dishonoring commitment and others, it actually triggers a stress response in the body, causing us to feel agitated, bad about ourselves, spiraling downward into guilt, spiking the stress hormones, even causing inflammation in the body. The opposite effect of what we look to achieve when we engage in true self-care.

A lot of times, failing to honour commitment is born from a resistance to having a new experience that will probable test our comfort zone massively… So we cop out, use self-care as an excuse, feel like crap about it and miss out on having an expansive experience that would have probably had us feeling like a champion if we just followed through.

I know when something really isn’t right for me my body will let me know. I have also learned that when something is going to be great for me, possibly change my whole outlook or teach me a great deal, that I have a very strange resistance… As if my comfort zone is very threatened, so I construct excuses not to participate in evolution. Knowing the difference, I understand that when I honor commitment, I honour myself. And that then becomes an excellent form of self-care.

Doing what we say we are going to do is one of the very last means of expressing honour in these crazy times… And being honourable is a very beautiful thing.

“90% of success is showing up.”

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